Breck Carter
Last modified: August 9, 1996
mail to: bcarter@bcarter.com



The fRiDaY File, for August 9

( Go back, forward )

 

NT Chicken:

Will cross the road in June.

No, August.

September for sure.

 

OS/2 Chicken:

It crossed the road in style years ago,

but it was so quiet that nobody

noticed.

 

Win 95 Chicken:

You see different colored feathers while it

crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like

chicken.

 

Microsoft Chicken (TM):

It's already on both sides of the road.

And it just bought the road.

 

OOP Chicken:

It doesn't need to cross the road,

it just sends a message.

 

Assembler Chicken:

First it builds the road...

 

C Chicken:

It crosses the road without looking both ways.

 

C++ Chicken:

The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road,

you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

 

VB Chicken:

USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

 

Delphi Chicken:

The chicken is dragged across the road

and dropped on the other side.

 

Java Chicken:

If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken,

the server will download one to the other side.

Of course, those are chicklets.

 

Web Chicken:

Jumps out onto the road,

turns right,

and just keeps on running.

 

Gopher Chicken:

Tried to run,

but got flattened by the Web chicken.

 

Newton Chicken:

Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs,

but you can carry it across the road

in your pocket!

 

Cray Chicken:

Crosses faster than any other chicken,

but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first,

it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

 

Quantum Logic Chicken:

The chicken is distributed probabalistically

on all sides of the road until

you observe it on the side of your choice.

 

Lotus Chicken:

Don't you *dare* try to cross the road

the same way we do!

 

Mac Chicken:

No reasonable chicken owner would want

a chicken to cross the road, so

there's no way to tell it to.

 

Al Gore Chicken:

Waiting for completion of NCI

(Nation Chicken-crossing Infrastructure)

and will cross as soon as it's finished,

assuming he's re-elected and

the Republicans don't gut the program.

 

COBOL Chicken:

0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.

IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN

PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD

VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL

ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE

ELSE

GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

 


Breck Carter can be reached by phone at (416) 763-5200 or via email at bcarter@bcarter.com.